In the face

In the face

I’m faced with an avalanche. Not the real, massive snow slide of destruction. But as is typical in situations like this, running won’t do me any good. All I can do is stand strong and prepare to be overwhelmed. The breath flows in and out of my nose. I can feel the fear creeping under my skin. Maybe I should’ve said no. Maybe I really am in over my head. My lungs fill. My chest rises. I have to do this. I would never go back on my word. Even if I have to fake it, I will do this. My lungs empty. My chest falls. Maybe I can’t do this. Maybe I can. Either way its coming. Every muscle in my body tenses. They all know what to do. My instincts never fail me. And as the white comes caving in, I wonder why I can’t just trust more. Not myself. Not the circumstances. But trust something.  I reach out into the void to grab hold of nothing. Something. But it brings me peace when there’s nothing else.

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